Facebook First Profile Challenge and an Update

This is overdue.  Sorry I have not good excuse.  OK, kid stuff has been crazy the last couple of weeks.  Charlotte hurt her knee - She's in a brace.  Ruby is doing PT for an ankle sprain.  The other two are just doing all their regular activities.  On top of that I'm navigating incorporating exercise and figuring out food. 

I did not participate in the Facebook challenge where you post your first profile picture and your current profile picture.  Why, well that last 6 years have not been kind to me.  Actually I have not been kind to my body in the last 6 years. Actually, that is not completely true.  Some of what lead to weight gain was me taking care of me and some of it was me giving up on my appearance.  Short explanation - hysterectomy followed by anxiety meds followed by weight gain from more chill approach to life and/or medication, followed by screw it who cares attitude.

 So I'll post it here. 

May 2007

September 2018

Between those two pictures I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight about 4 years later before gaining and weighing the most I ever have.  Ugh.  In true social media fashion if it isn't positive we don't post it.  So I didn't.  And it made me sad that I succumbed to being that vain.  Does it matter that I weigh at least 50 lbs more in one photo than the other?  No.  Is that really the end all be all of judging how the last 11 years have gone?  No.  But I was still embarrassed.  But here.  I get to talk about all the ends and outs and not just post two pictures.  And here, I'm determined to be honest with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Now on to the update from surgery.  I am now 3.5 weeks out.  The eating plan has not been bad and my new stomach has reacted great as I've added more stages.  I'm now on the soft food stage.  It gives me a lot more choices than the previous stages have.  Monday, I am on full food.  Yippee!  

I saw my surgeon last week.  He said all looks well and I'm progressing well.  He lifted all restrictions on activity.  I am on week two of walking 3-4 days a week.  I'm slowly increasing my distance and am definitely getting faster.  Joining a gym is the next step in the plan.  I know I'll need weight training to minimize loose skin.

For those wondering I'm averaging about 600 calories a day.  I'm drinking 64-88oz of water plus other drinks.  I find getting the minimum of 60 grams of protein to be the hardest to hit.  I do great as long as I have at one protein shake.  If I don't have a shake I don't seem to hit the goal.  

Now for the stats.  As of Monday's weigh in I have lost 20 lbs since surgery and 29.8 lbs since starting pre-op diet.

Hopefully I'll be more timely in the next update.

Jenn

It's All Mental

Sorry for not updating closer to my surgery date or before now post surgery.  The pre-op diet was not hard.  I love that my doctor did not make me do a two week liquid diet.  I had to be mindful of my food and make the right choices but I did not go into surgery already tired of all my liquid choices.  

Surgery went without a hitch.  I was at the hospital at 6:00am, in surgery by 8:30, out by 10:30 and back in my room about an hour later.  My blood pressure was low after surgery so it took them longer to get me up than normal trying to give it time to come up a bit.  Once that happened I had to walk and use the restroom before they would send me home.  I was home by 3:00 pm.

The first two days were not fun.  Mostly from the gas pain that comes with laparoscopic surgery.  By the morning of day three I was not taking any pain medicine and the gas was much better! Day three was the first day I drove and ran a couple of errands.  From there on I have done a bit more each day.  

Days four and five started some serious cravings. It was all for meat.  I'm sure it was due to not getting enough protein in.  I have upped my protein and that has made most of that stop.

I know most of this journey and the success of it is mental.  I am trying to be very aware of my thoughts about food and weight and what is really behind them.  I know I have to have a very different approach to food going forward or this won't work.   I know I have to stick to the plan and if I can not do that now, I will not do it long term.  I've had thoughts of "Really, maybe I can have beans or cottage cheese now."  But they are not on the plan until next week.  I can wait a week.  But I have to talk myself through that.  It will not hurt me in any way to wait another week.  But trying to rush things can make me miserable and if I bend that rule, what will I bend next? 

Yes, I realize the irony in that.  I am rules are constructs to know where I can get around them kind of person.  And now I need to follow the rules.  This is very hard for me.  

The other huge mental side of this in weighing and actual amount lost at any point.  I made a rule that at this time I will only weigh once a week.  I know stalls will come and I know weighing daily will lead to obsessing about the scale.  I was good for the first few days, but by Thursday or Friday (days 4 and 5) I knew I had lost some weight and I really wanted to weigh.  I ran through the reasons to wait and stayed strong. 

Today was weigh in day.  I was really excited to step on the scale.  I lost 10.3 lbs. in one week!  Which is awesome.  Guess what?  I stepped off the scale and I was hugely disappointed.  I was sure it was going to be more.  Y'all, I was disappointed over a 10 pound in a single week loss!!!!! Do you know how crazy that is?  How many times would I have paid money for that amount of loss in a month, much less a week?  How could I be disappointed?  Y'all this is such a mental game.  I had to remind myself that this journey is not about a number on the scale, a certain size clothing, etc.  It is about being healthier long term.  As long as I am following the program the numbers do not matter.  

For those of you following along, I lost 10 lbs. on the pre-op diet and have lost 10.3 in the first week for a total loss to date  of 20.3 lbs, in three weeks!  

The left photo is no make-up, no hair styling, but I could already tell a difference in my face.

I have no regrets about my choice to do surgery.  So far I feel good.  I'm making good choices.  I'm meeting my protein and hydration goals for each day.  One more week of a liquid diet before I get to purees.

Jenn