Happy Birthday Sam

Sam's eighth heavenly birthday was August 30th. The evening before his birthday was really hard on me this year. I still miss him so very much. I still wonder what he would look like and what his favorite things to do would be. I would love to see him playing with his siblings. I would just love to give him a big hug and tell him how very much I love him. But since I can't I try to be his mom in different ways, one of which is reaching out to others who lose a baby.


Yesterday we celebrated his birthday with a party at the cemetery. I know this sounds very unusual and it is. But when you involve your children in the planning process this is what happens. In their minds it is his birthday and that means there must be a party. It doesn't matter that he is in heaven, there must be a party. Of course if you have a party there must be guests and party favors and cake. This year they insisted on inviting more friends than in past years. So I got the task of inviting everyone to our unusual party. Luckily we have wonderful friends who are very gracious about our strange requests

Everyone had fun celebrating Sam's birthday. The kids went on a tour of the section of the cemetery to ring all the wind chimes they could find. Rehm and Charlotte had picked out little plastic zoo animals and lizards to decorate Sam's stone, so all the kids helped with the decorating. Then we sang Happy Birthday and had cake. Then we release balloons to send to Sam in heaven. The older kids really liked that part and really liked watching After the balloon release we gave everyone their party favor (a light stick) and it was time to go.



It is really touching to have family and friends who love our family enough to come to the cemetery for a birthday party. I feel truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life.

After having lunch Michael, the kids and I went to the hospital. Every year we take a bag containing a book on grief, a journal and a keepsake (usually a Willow Tree angel) and ask that it be given to a family whose baby dies. Every year we trek to the Labor and Delivery Nurses Station and the staff standing there look at us like we are crazy since we have several kids with us and are obviously not about to have a baby. We explain why we are there, give them the bag and leave. It is something I'm glad we do and I hope that whoever receives the bag finds a small measure of comfort in that bag.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy!
Jenn