I am on a Roll!

Yesterday Ruby wanted a new mommy.  Today Rehm told me he hated me.  I must be doing something extremely right...or extremely wrong.

Rehm has gotten in a habit of being really slow in the morning. He procrastinates and barely gets done what he is supposed to before time to leave for school.  I don't know what he is doing but he is so slow!  It is driving me crazy.

This morning was no exception.  He went to print a practice log for band and took 15 minutes to get it printed and filled out.  I kept calling up asking why it was taking so long.  I'm sure he was surfing the web or on his phone.  Finally, I told him to quit "fiddle-farting" around and get moving.

He decided to be a snot.  He was complaining that fiddle-fart didn't make any sense and wasn't even a real word.  I countered that it was two very real words.  He kept on and finally stated, "I prefer procrastinate to fiddle-fart.  It is more proper."  I about hit him.  Not really, but the snark, attitude and fiddle-farting continued.

He needed to take out the trash.  I had asked him to do it last night.  Of course, he procrastinated and did not do it last night.  He had every intention of not doing it this morning.  He went so far as to tell me if it was such problem that I should take it out.  Yeah, that went over really well.  He took the trash out.

Finally, he was ready to go to school.  He likes to get there about an hour before school starts.  This morning we did not have to take anyone else to school.  He got his stuff together and told me he would wait in the car.  I took my sweet time getting out of the house.  I was not very happy with him and decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

We get to the end of our street and I turn the opposite direction of school.

Rehm:  Where are we going.

Me:  To school.

Rehm:  But this is the wrong way.

Me: No its not.

We get to another intersection and again I turn further away from the direction of school.

Rehm: Umm, school is not this way.

Me:  Sure it is.

Rehm:  I get what you're doing.  You're trying to prove a point aren't you?

Me: Nope, I just wanted to go this way to school this morning.

Rehm:  But this is not the way to school.

Me:  We can get there from here.

Rehm:  I need to be at school by now!  I'm running late.

Me:  No, you're not.  School doesn't start for another 45 minutes.

Rehm:  But I have something I need to get done!

Me:  What is it?

Rehm:  I need to finish my science homework.  I'm supposed to be at school already.  Now, I'm late! We are nowhere near school! I get it you are trying to prove a point!  Will you take me to school now?

Me:  I am taking you to school.  (Again I turn the wrong way)

Rehm is pretty angry with me by this point.

Rehm:  I hate you.  You are being a hippocrit! You always tell us to be loving and kind and you are not being either of those things!  I need to go to school!

Me:  We are going to school.  So why have you started fiddle-farting around and not getting stuff done?

Rehm:   You never focus on me!  You only spend time with the girls!

Me:  I'm spending time with you now!  Just think of all the extra time we are getting with each other this morning. 

Rehm:  MOM! I need to go to school.

We are now within sight of the school, but I still don't feel that I have adequately made my point, so I turn away from the school again.

Rehm:  Mom, the school is right there!  I can see it!  Are we going in another circle?

Me:  Um, no, I would call it more of a square.

A few blocks later he realizes we are finally on our usual route to school.  He apparently feels safe at this point and makes some absolutely ridiculous statement about how none of his procrastinating is his fault.  Needless to say, I altered our path again. 

Rehm: You are so mean!  Why can't you just take me to school.

Me:  I am taking you to school.  If I were mean, I would have made you walk.  I'm just spending quality time focusing on you, you mentioned I was too focused on your sisters.  This is me, focusing on you.

We finally get to school a good 20 minutes later than I typically drop him off.  He is not happy with me.  He makes that very clear. He gets his stuff and goes in the building.  I look down and notice his band practice sheets laying on the floorboard.  Yep, the practice sheets that took him forever to complete because he was procrastinating, those.  Oh, the irony.

Ah, parenting.
Jenn