Four Minutes

It takes four minutes to turn this
into this

or this

using this
(Ed Emberley's Drawing Book of Animals)

Why am I doing this? Well, because as usual, I'm just a bit crazy. And this is my new craziness. Ruby and Eliza Claire have to have a snack for preschool that is packed separate from their lunches. To make them a little more fun I started drawing a surprise on them each day. We do reuse the bags a couple of times, so I don't do these every day.

A Vision

Can you tell someone dressed herself today. Isn't she a vision?

Because life is so dull, boring, and calm around Mayhem Mania

Are you laughing yet?

We will be adding these two cuties to our family today.

Isabella

Phineas

Now, are you laughing? Yep, we've lost our minds. Yep, I may really have a nervous breakdown trying to keep up with two more living things in this house. Yep, we are crazy, stupid, morons who are all thrilled with the prospect of having Phineas and Isabella join the mania. Yep, that's us.

We pick them up at 3:30. Everyone is super excited. Wish us luck.

Things heard in the car on the way to school

While eating breakfast in the car this morning, Eliza Claire asked, "Mommy how do you eat breakfast at Heaven?" I said I didn't know and was not sure if you even ate breakfast in Heaven. She was quiet for a few minutes and then completely out of the blue I heard:

Eliza Claire: I love you, Ruby!

Ruby: What you say?

Eliza Claire: I love you, Ruby!

And then there was silence. Ruby did not acknowledge this in any way. I wonder what that means. Maybe she doesn't love Eliza Claire? Maybe she still didn't understand what Eliza Claire said and didn't want to ask a second time? Maybe she got distracted by something she saw out of the window and forgot her sister was talking to her? Who knows. Eliza Claire sure did melt my heart even if her sister ignored her.

Cursed Jinxed?

Tonight was the fund raising night at Cici's Pizza for our elementary school. I decided it would be a good idea to go. I never go to Cici's Pizza without having flashbacks of this experience. But the last few times we have been nothing too bad has happened.

Michael met me there to drop off the little girls before he left for a meeting at church. He had been gone exactly two minutes when I walk up to the table from getting soup for Ruby and Eliza Claire to find all four children in a dither. Ruby was holding a broken glass salt shaker and Charlotte was panicked because she had knocked over Ruby's drink, which landed in Ruby's plate and had her food floating.




Ruby was spilling salt everywhere. Did you know that when large amounts of salt are poured into Sprite that it foams a lot? I dumped the broken salt shaker in the bowl of soup I was holding and ran to the bathroom to get paper towels to clean up all the Sprite. When I got back to the table, Ruby was using her hand to stir the salt/Sprite mixture and then licking it off of her fingers. It was totally disgusting!

When order was restored and everyone was happily eating again I realized the problem. I was alone with the children at Cici's. These kinds of things never happen when Michael is along. I will not be going back to Cici's with all four children without him again. I just don't think I can take it.

Now Back to our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Michael started a new job on Monday thus ending his three plus month hiatus. So now it is back to our regularly scheduled programming. There is only one problem. I don't remember what that looked like. I guess we will figure it out as we go. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the new job. I love the new job and more importantly the pay check that will come with it. But in the last three months there have been a lot of things Michael has taken off my plate that I'm not looking forward to having back. Things like getting the big kids from school, and grocery shopping were much easier when there were two of us with somewhat flexible schedules.

I am sure that by January of February I will have re-adjusted to having him back at work. But by then I might just be in the loony bin. I guess only time will tell. So for the next month or so, if you see me looking frazzled or the children looking extra bedraggled or behaving atrociously, please remember that I'm doing my best and hopefully with time I'll get back up to at least my normal mediocre standards.

Life is good and jobs are great!
Jenn

The Evil Eye: Ever have this problem?

If you have children over the age of five this is probably not on your radar screen anymore.

This is the bane of my existence. Why would an automatic toilet be a bad thing you ask? Well they scare the you know what out of my kids! These toilets are especially loud when they flush and when you are a small, wiggly child they flush at very unpredictable times. The kids are terrified that the toilet will flush before they are off of them. Rightly so, as it happens every time!

As a good mom I used to always try to cover the evil eye of the toilet with my hand but trying to get to it without blocking the toilet was nearly impossible for anyone less than a contortionist. Then half way through the potty experience I would always managed to move my hand a fraction of an inch and the stupid thing would flush. Of course at that point my child is crying and mad at me! Even thought it was totally the fault of the toilet. On the rare occasion when I wouldn't cover the toilet but tell them to deal they would end up peeing on themselves while arguing with me about why they couldn't just go. Did I mention how much I dislike these things?

Eventually I started carrying post it notes in my purse. This way I could just slap a post it over the evil eye and no worries about flushing. This was a wonderful beautiful thing. No more contortions, no more crying children. Only problem is I didn't always have my purse with me or the post its would mysteriously disappear from my purse. Then we were back to square one!

Finally out of desperation I have found ways to block them without contorting or carrying post its, using only something found in the restroom! Toilet paper! For the ones that are on the toilet and in the place where the handle to flush would normally be, simply fold a piece of toilet paper and drape it over the eye, have your child go about their business and throw the paper in the toilet when they are ready for it to flush. (Sorry for my very basic illustration I did it using an iphone app that lets you doodle on pictures or set backgrounds. I could and probably will write a whole post on the various things I have used this app for.)


For the ones built into the wall tuck the toilet paper into the seat cover dispenser and let it hang in front of the eye. Occasionally, there is nothing to suspend the paper from for the ones on the wall. I have been known in this situation to take a sanitary pad out of my purse and just undo the flap of its little cover/sleeve thingy. Then stick the flap to the wall and voila a nice evil eye cover. Yeah, you waste a sanitary pad this way but it sure beats having a screaming child with wet pants. Of course this backup plan goes back to assuming you have a purse with you and have sanitary pads in the purse. So it still isn't full proof. Apple needs to develop some kind of app where I can just point my phone at the evil eye and cause interference, cause you know I'm never without my phone. But then I might drop my phone in the toilet and that would be very, very bad.


Isn't it funny how something that should be helpful and convenient can be the bane of your existence when you have small children. I get that not having to touch the dirty toilet to get it to flush is a good thing. But terrifying my kid by making them think the toilet is trying to eat them is not a good thing, at all! You know someone who did not have small children definitely designed these things.

I hope this was helpful for at least someone. It only took me seven plus years to figure it out.
Jenn

Published Again

Once again Rehm's QUEST class has done a project where they each make a book. This is his third. Being a Bad Mommy, I actually missed his make-up presentation today. His dad was able to attend while I picked up the littles from preschool.

The cover of the book - If I Were a Light by Rehm. Make sure to note that this is an award winning book. It won Best QUEST Book of the Month! This was completely poetic license on the author's part.

If I Were a Light By: Rehm

If I were light I would be a light bulb that is extremely bright.

If I were a light I would be a light back pack that would not hurt my back.

If I were a light I would be a light blue room that would remind me of the sea.

My name is Rehm_____ and I was born on _______. I have three little sisters that drive me crazy! When I am not writing books I am playing DS. I am also the author of The Bandy Snatcher and Tiger and Bear.

Here is the link so you can read the Bandy Snatcher. Apparently I never blogged about Tiger and Bear. Guess I need to add that to my to do list.

Jenn

Rehm and Recess

This week, Michael and I had the occassion to observe Rehm on the playground at recess without him being aware. It was hillarious! He was playing with a group of boys who were playing football. Guess what position he was playing? Referee! He even had a flag he had made out of a ball and some paper and colore it all yellow. I heard him yell things like "dead ball," "five yard penalty!" The funniest part was that the other kids were actually listening to him and following his rules.



He was definitely in his element, making the rules and being in charge.

Jenn

Rectified

I know it still "looks bad" that Rehm's picture is bigger than the others but at least now all four of them are represented.

Busted!

Ruby was in my office earlier this week and wanted to know why I had a picture of all the other kids and not her. Oops! It really was an accident. Each on the kids pictures that are on my desk have just randomly ended up there. The one of Charlotte I found in a stack of papers on my desk. It is a proof from preschool graduation pictures. The one of Eliza Claire came from a preschool placemat and I'm not even sure why I have the one of Rehm.

I have promised Ruby I will add her picture to my desk before she comes back to the office. I guess I should go look for a picture now...

Jenn

Good Mommy, Bad Mommy

Today it was a bit of both. I guess by the end of the day that evens out into Mediocre Mommy. Hmm. Not sure if I like that but it is better than just ending the day with Bad Mommy.

The Good
Eliza Claire was playing outside with Ruby. She came to the door all excited and trying to tell me something. I was busy. But I actually went over to find out what she was saying. She was point out the door saying, "look Mommy, it is fall!" I asked her what she saw that told her it was fall. She said it was the leaves changing color. I looked at the trees, all of which were still full of green leaves and said, "really which ones are changing?" "The ones on the ground, Mommy!" Then she ran back out to see what other signs of fall she could find.

Ruby came in a bit later with a leaf for me. I thanked her very much. She was very excited and I could see where this was going to go. She was going to be running in every two minutes with another leave or acorn or something for me. They were all going to be strewn all over the house and I was going to be grumpy. So I gave her a sandwich sized baggie and told her she could put anything she wanted me to see in the bag and then bring it all in when it was time to come inside. She loved this idea and quickly ran back out to start filling her bag. The bag did come back inside while I was cooking dinner. She started taking everything out of it. I told her it all had to stay inside the bag and then she disappeared. I wonder where she put the bag and what "treasures" I'm going to find in it when it is found.

The Bad
Rehm told me tonight that he was presenting his QUEST project tomorrow. He then proceeded to say that he was supposed to present today but it got rescheduled to tomorrow because he forgot to tell me about it. All the other kids' parents showed up and they all presented today. Rehm's QUEST teacher emailed last week that the class would be presenting their first projects today. I forgot to put it on the calendar and forgot to go! Ugh! I feel horrible. I did tell him that it was my fault that the teacher did tell me about it and that I forgot. I assured him that I would be there tomorrow. Now, I just have to remember...

Jenn