Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Poop Happens

Warning: This is going to be a very funny, gross post. If you don't like talking/reading about bodily functions, stop reading now. If you can appreciate a good toddler poop story then grab a cup of coffee and get ready for a good laugh

Eliza Claire insisted on wearing big girl panties after nap time today. I was hesitant and honestly didn't expect her to make it more than an hour without an accident. She surprised me as she is prone to do. By dinner time she was still accident free.

Due to my children being extremely crazy, emotional, loud, non-listening monsters this afternoon, I didn't get dinner made. We decided to go out to dinner instead. I was a bit concerned about how Eliza Claire would do with big girl panties on but decided to throw caution to the wind and give it a try. We went to the restroom when we first got there and again after we finished eating. Then she and Ruby went off to the game room to play.

Charlotte had basket ball practice and had to leave first. I told Michael to take her and I'd deal with the other three. Given my day, we were both a bit surprised with my decision. But I was trying to be nice since Michael will have complete kid duty for the next two nights.

I saw another parent at the restaurant that I knew and was catching up with him while the kids played. A few minutes later I walk back to the game room to collect the kids. As I approach I can smell poop. I assume this is just because the game room is next to the restroom. Then I see Eliza Claire. There is something brown on the back of her dress. I hope it is paint as I noticed a big spot of brown paint on the front of her dress when I picked her up from school earlier today. Then I remember the smell. Oh no!

I grab the girl and it is obvious she is the culprit of the smell. I take her and Ruby to the restroom where I find poop all down her legs, on her shoes, on her dress, everywhere! Oh my! I had no wipes. The change of clothes was in the van. It took me ten minutes to get her anywhere near clean. The whole time Ruby is talking about where all Eliza Claire has poop. Her prized Dora pants were a casualty. Now I have a pantyless girl with poop on her shoes and dress (I tried to get it off but wasn't having luck with my limited rest room resources) that I have to get out of the restaurant without contaminating anything else.

After I clean her up I go to look in the game room. I know there has to be poop in there given how much was on her. Yep sure enough it was on both the car racing games. I clean it off as best I can. Now I have to find someone who works there and tell them my daughter pooped on the video games. Man, there never is a dull moment when you are the mom of a toddler.

I find a guy and am trying to quietly tell him what has happened as I really don't want to ruin anyone's dinner. When I tell him, his eyes get big. Then he tells me the have cleaners that can take care of it. Then I have to tell him it was both car racing machines and his eyes get even bigger and he says "really!" I blush and apologize profusely. At this point I think he feels sorry for me and tells me it isn't the first time they've had an incident in the game room and that he has three kids of his own and knows what it is like. I thank him and leave as quickly as possible. Oh my, how embarrassing.

And it gets worse. Tonight was the fund raising night for our elementary school, so there were several families there we knew to witness my stellar parenting and to know that we were the ones responsible for the stench emanating from the game room.

What kills me is Rehm was in the game room. He knew that something happened to the car games. He and his friends were avoiding them but no one thought to actually get an adult! There was poop visible on both seats and no one thought it might be a good idea to tell someone. How crazy is that?

I do have to say I'm proud of myself because I didnt' lose it! I stayed calm and overall didn't over react to the situation. But it is definitely an experience I don't want to repeat, ever!

After I got the kids in the car and Eliza Claire's clothes changed, I called Michael to tell him he definitely chose the better job of the evening. He wholeheartedly agreed.

I guess the good news is that Eliza Claire finally seems ready to start the potty training process. The bad news is I'm sure we are now banned from said restaurant for the next year or so. Given it isn't really a favorite restaurant of ours I'm not so sure I mind being banned...

I'm sure for once that you are all very glad I don't have pictures to accompany a story :)


Alicia said...

Oh Jenn!! I am definitely laughing WITH you because we have had the same thing happen at Chick Fil A when Sean was little. And the play area is VERY small and closed in and smelled so bad. I also had to toss out the diego undies and move on with getting OUT of the restaurant. So I feel your pain and know that it happens to alot of us mommies!!

Cathi_in_TX said...

OMG - that is so gross. I'm sorry this happened. If you weren't laughin, you'd have been cryin!

I think I might have a toddler poop story but I've repressed them in my memory, never to think about them again!

DeedleMe said...

Yes, I am thankful that your love of picture taking did not reach this post! Happy parenting!

Karen said...

I will never look at the video games in places like that the same again. ;)