Saturday, August 30, 2014

A very different birthday this year

Today, my eldest child celebrated his 15th heavenly birthday. We had plans to mark the occasion with a small celebration at the cemetery like we often do. That was not meant to be this year.

Instead we spent the day in Illinois. My brother-in-law Dallas, Michael's eldest brother died suddenly, and unexpectedly on Tuesday. We are here to say goodbye and to try to offer some comfort to our dear sister-in-law Cathi and nephew Griffin.

Like Sam, Dallas has left us much too soon. This is not the natural order of things. We aren't supposed to be saying goodbye to him, yet. It's just not right.

Spending Sam's birthday honoring Dallas and loving our family through this unimaginable time does on some level feel appropriate. Sam taught me how to love fully and unconditionally. He taught me that grief is not a bad emotion. He taught me that the pain comes because of how deeply we love and that love is always worth the potential pain. He taught me that those we love may cease to walk this earth with us but they are never gone from us. We continue to carry them in our heart. He taught me that my God is bigger than death and my God never stops holding and comforting me, especially in my deepest sorrows.

My son has taught me that we are not saying "goodbye" to Dallas. We are saying "until we meet again."

So on this day, I thank Sam for teaching me so many lessons about love, faith, and grief. Because of my love for Sam, I am equipped for loving my family at this difficult, sorrowful time.

Sam had a wonderful day with his Uncle Dallas, I'm sure. And I know I spent Sam's birthday exactly how and where I was supposed to.

I ask you all to continue to pray for our family. Grief is a long and difficult road. Dallas loved well and has left a large hole in many people's lives.

Jenn- Posted from my iPhone


Phyllis said...

Perfect words, perfect love.

Maggie said...

Perfect reflection. Grief is a long hard journey. Praying for peace and comfort for all of you.