I've made an effort in the last year to get out of my comfort zone and push myself physically and emotional. I've also made it a priority to understand who I am and what I am capable of and stopped beating myself up about not doing everything. In this year of self discovery, I've determined that I am very much the tortoise and not the hare.
I can't do things in a fast and furious manner. Especially when starting a new habit. If I do, I burn out in a week or two and then feel like a failure when I don't stick to the new regimen. I have found that I do better to make small goals and build on them.
For example, I started doing the Couch to 5K program in mid-March. The first day I almost talked myself out of doing it because I truly didn't believe I could do it. But I realized I would definitely fail, if I didn't try and trying alone was a success in and of itself. I should have completed the program as of this week. I'm not quite halfway. Do I feel like I have failed? Nope, because I have tried something new and stuck with it for nine weeks. Will I ever complete the program and run a 5K? Probably, but if I don't, I have still been successful. I've tried something way outside my comfort zone and given it my best effort. I'm slow, but I'm doing it in a way that works for me and who I am.
My personal motto this year has become, "I am tortoise hear me...plod." Yep, boring and down right anti-climatic, but completely and totally who I am. Progress, no matter how slow, change, no matter how small, are my successes. How does someone who has embraced taking the slow and steady approach to the world end up committing to read the Bible in 90 days? I don't really know. My first response to my Bible Study group was, "I'm the tortoise not the hare and this is totally the hare's approach. I'm scared!"
I am scared. I am a tortoise. I am a slow reader. I don't do well with big change. This is a big change, requiring about 45 minutes of reading every day for 90 days! I've never read the Bible all the way through. I've read chunks but never the whole thing. I've failed at so many projects that required me to jump in with both feet and do something different.
I'm also very excited. I'm out of my comfort zone and I've learned this year that is a good place for me to be. I am growing and stretching and challenging myself by attempting something I don't feel capable of doing. I feel empowered by trying something new and by testing myself.
I'm four days in to the reading. I've completed Genesis. All the stories were familiar but this is the first time in my life I've read every last single word in Genesis and I did it in 4 days!
Will I complete this journey in 90 days? I intend to. Will I be a better person for doing this? Yes! I will have accomplished something that I didn't think I was capable of and I know God will stretch me spiritually through this process as well. I am excited. I am the tortoise but for the next 86 days I will be impersonating the hare.
Wish me luck and say a prayer for my endurance. I'm sure I'll be posting more about it as the summer progresses.
Jenn
PS. I'll be posting on Facebook everyday when I complete my reading. This is my way of being accountable during the process.
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