One Monday a month I facilitate a Pregnancy and Infant Loss support group. I do this for many reasons. It is my way of giving back. It is something I get to do every month for a child I don't get to raise. It is the one thing on the calender that is scheduled Sam time. I like to think it makes Sam proud. It also helps me remember how blessed I am.
I am the mom of five beautiful, special, amazing children. I get the privilege of raising four of them. They challenge me, wear me out, make me laugh, make me cry and sometimes make me angry. But at the end of everyday I thank God for all five of them and beg Him to watch over them, protect them and let them feel His love.
Sam is my angel. He died at birth over seven years ago. He is waiting for me and one day I will see him. And while I do not get the privilege of raising him, he has a profound daily effect on my life. He never saw my face and I never saw him open his eyes. I never heard his voice but I know his spirit. I will always get to be his mom even though I do not get to watch him grow up. And as his mom, I get the privilege to reach out to others who also have to travel this very unfortunate journey. It is my gift to him and his gift to me.
I am reminded daily of how blessed I am but the second Monday of the month makes me even more aware of my blessings and even more grateful that God chose me to be Sam, Rehm, Charlotte, Ruby and Eliza's mom.
Several months ago Rehm's teacher was thoughtful enough to let me borrow her Watermark "A Greatful People" CD so I could hear the song "Glory Baby" which is about losing a child. I feel it gives a small glimpse of what we have gone through. Here are the lyrics.
Please thank God for your children today and remember what a precious gift they are.
Jenn
2 comments:
We are all blessed. That is a wonderful thing that you are doing. I had no idea. It is important to remember and to share. I wish that I had something like that to do here. I may have to look. I know just in my office, many of us have angels. Some days are harder than others. I still miss Sam as well and think of him alot. Thanks for sharing.
What a beautiful way you have of putting your thoughts into words! It is easy to see that Sam was, is and will always be an important part of the way your family grows and relates to each other. That's a beautiful legacy from a wee little boy. Thank you for sharing him with all of us through the years. It truly has changed our lives and helped us cherish our kids even more.
Linda
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